This was taken at our company party last week. The children are Tian age 2-ish and Neko age 5. They belong to my boss, but I get to play with them sometimes.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A new pic
This was taken at our company party last week. The children are Tian age 2-ish and Neko age 5. They belong to my boss, but I get to play with them sometimes.
Friday, May 8, 2009
The good luck streak finally ran out...
As some of you know, I have been having some issues with my hip replacement.
Today I finally went and saw my doctor and got some fairly bad news. At this point we have to do one more test to determine our next step.
It seems that “particles” are accumulating between the side of my prosthesis and the inside of my femur. The x-rays don’t have the ability to determine if they are from an infection or from wear of the unit, but either option is bad.
If it is an infection, drugs may clear it up, but if it is bonded to the stem they will have to pull it out so I can heal. If it is wear on the ball and cap then they will have to replace those two components. So we are praying for an infection in my bone that can be healed with drugs.
Also I said "unit" and "pull it out so I can heal".
Today I finally went and saw my doctor and got some fairly bad news. At this point we have to do one more test to determine our next step.
It seems that “particles” are accumulating between the side of my prosthesis and the inside of my femur. The x-rays don’t have the ability to determine if they are from an infection or from wear of the unit, but either option is bad.
If it is an infection, drugs may clear it up, but if it is bonded to the stem they will have to pull it out so I can heal. If it is wear on the ball and cap then they will have to replace those two components. So we are praying for an infection in my bone that can be healed with drugs.
Also I said "unit" and "pull it out so I can heal".
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Rich Jandt Adventure #18
I apologize; this is going to be another long one.
Ryan Peters was the only one to bid for me during a Kingsmen auction. There were a few girls I was hoping to buy me, but that didn’t work out.
Ryan had this plan, and of course it was not very well thought out. He was going to go down and sleep on the streets with hobos, so he could have a better understanding of their situation. He wanted me to go with him because he is a little man who is scared of just about everything.
Ryan and I hop on the max one night with a buck fifty each to ride back on the next morning. That was the plan anyway.
I had only taken about 5 steps off the platform at the Saturday market when a very large black man with the reddest eyes in the world asked me if I needed some nugs. I had no idea what he was asking, so I said “What? I don’t thinks so. What are nugs?” He looked at me from one side of his face and said “You know, Bud!” I replied “I don’t know what that is.” And honestly didn’t. He then turned to look me full in the face and said “Weed man, you need any weed?” I was shocked he was asking me if I needed drugs. I said no thanks and we walked down to the water.
While this was fun for Ryan, I had to re-read the book of Romans that night for a test that week, so I had some school supplies with me. We were on the last set of benches right on the Burnside Bridge. After about an hour of reading a man came up to us and asked if we had some papers. Ryan handed him a newspaper, and I offered some notebook paper. He said no, he needed some rolling papers for drugs. I once again was shocked that someone I had never met was being so open about Illegal Drugs.
Not too long after that a third man came up to our bench and asked if we had a “rig”. I said that Keo had one, but he didn’t get it. I said I could get a truck if he needed something moved, but he was referring to a syringe. It seems that the druggies in the park have drugs, but not the necessary utensils to get high.
It was getting dark and we devised a plan that we would sleep in shifts to protect each other. As Ryan slept I noticed that the rats were very brave, and even though I was fully awake reading the Bible, they would run up and hit my foot. I looked over and they were on the bench that Ryan was sleeping on. I thought for a moment, and came to a realization that Ryan was not the kind of guy who would be able to stay awake on his shift, so I woke him up and we moved up town.
We were still on Burnside in front of that pizza place that serves from the window, and we saw a man standing in the middle of the road. He was shirtless and was in between lanes, cars were zipping past him very closely. I called out to him to come back to the side of the road. He eventually did and I mentioned that he should be careful because he almost got hit. He said that it was ok, because he had a snake and he produced a shoe string which he started to make noises for, wrapping it very tightly around his arm. Although that was weird, the oddest part was when he started telling us that he was sent from Al Gore to kill a man in the bar down the street. It seems that Al Gore uses shirtless assassins when he needs some killin done in Portland.
We moved up toward Powell’s and met a man asking us for money. We are very generous people so we gave him all of our money, $3. But we wanted him to give us a tour of the Downtown homeless scene, and he obliged. He showed us all the places we could get free meals, free clothes, or just wanted to talk to someone. He also gave me some very serious insights to what it meant to be homeless. I had an impression that if I ever became homeless, I would just pull myself up by the boot straps and get a new job/place to live and work harder to get out of it. And I still think that is true, but as this man was explaining to me, most homeless have something wrong with them. It might be an addiction, or a mental illness. I had seen both already that night.
At this point I knew that I would never be able to sleep downtown. Between the drugs, crazies, and now we had to walk back to Cascade because we gave away our Max money; we decided to do it sooner than later. We were right across from Powell’s, and started our long walk back to Cascade. A Google map says that the trip is 5.4 miles long, and that seems a little short to me, mayhaps because Ryan was complaining the whole time. As we passed the Portland Rescue Mission, we noticed a young man, around our age, curled up on the sidewalk under a single blanket. We stopped and looked at the guy for a while, and decided that we could do nothing for him at this point. We were broke; we had no phone, no car to drive him somewhere safer, and no home to provide him.
Ryan needed motivation almost the whole walk back. At first I did this by threatening violence and urination if he slept. We passed karaoke bars, and a 7-11 where we go water. About halfway back he said he was going to give up, and he didn’t care what happened to him. He actually lay down on a sidewalk around Burnside and 35th. I had to switch motivators so I kept him awake with his favorite thing ever, arguing. We argued all the way back to Cascade.
It was a very surreal thing; I had been fasting for a class, and trying to read Romans in a single sitting. I was also sleep deprived, and physically exhausted. But as we walked into the parking lot from Burnside, the sun came up. It was warming to both my aching body and my mental state. I had stayed the entire night outside and I was cold. I also saw a lot of people in a bad situation. But here I was, walking to my dorm room, sheltered from the cold, and surrounded by friends and family that would never let me fall to that place. I had learned a lot from that trip, a little about compassion, a little about homelessness, a little about making sure to carry enough money so you can give some away, and still ride the Max back.
Ryan Peters was the only one to bid for me during a Kingsmen auction. There were a few girls I was hoping to buy me, but that didn’t work out.
Ryan had this plan, and of course it was not very well thought out. He was going to go down and sleep on the streets with hobos, so he could have a better understanding of their situation. He wanted me to go with him because he is a little man who is scared of just about everything.
Ryan and I hop on the max one night with a buck fifty each to ride back on the next morning. That was the plan anyway.
I had only taken about 5 steps off the platform at the Saturday market when a very large black man with the reddest eyes in the world asked me if I needed some nugs. I had no idea what he was asking, so I said “What? I don’t thinks so. What are nugs?” He looked at me from one side of his face and said “You know, Bud!” I replied “I don’t know what that is.” And honestly didn’t. He then turned to look me full in the face and said “Weed man, you need any weed?” I was shocked he was asking me if I needed drugs. I said no thanks and we walked down to the water.
While this was fun for Ryan, I had to re-read the book of Romans that night for a test that week, so I had some school supplies with me. We were on the last set of benches right on the Burnside Bridge. After about an hour of reading a man came up to us and asked if we had some papers. Ryan handed him a newspaper, and I offered some notebook paper. He said no, he needed some rolling papers for drugs. I once again was shocked that someone I had never met was being so open about Illegal Drugs.
Not too long after that a third man came up to our bench and asked if we had a “rig”. I said that Keo had one, but he didn’t get it. I said I could get a truck if he needed something moved, but he was referring to a syringe. It seems that the druggies in the park have drugs, but not the necessary utensils to get high.
It was getting dark and we devised a plan that we would sleep in shifts to protect each other. As Ryan slept I noticed that the rats were very brave, and even though I was fully awake reading the Bible, they would run up and hit my foot. I looked over and they were on the bench that Ryan was sleeping on. I thought for a moment, and came to a realization that Ryan was not the kind of guy who would be able to stay awake on his shift, so I woke him up and we moved up town.
We were still on Burnside in front of that pizza place that serves from the window, and we saw a man standing in the middle of the road. He was shirtless and was in between lanes, cars were zipping past him very closely. I called out to him to come back to the side of the road. He eventually did and I mentioned that he should be careful because he almost got hit. He said that it was ok, because he had a snake and he produced a shoe string which he started to make noises for, wrapping it very tightly around his arm. Although that was weird, the oddest part was when he started telling us that he was sent from Al Gore to kill a man in the bar down the street. It seems that Al Gore uses shirtless assassins when he needs some killin done in Portland.
We moved up toward Powell’s and met a man asking us for money. We are very generous people so we gave him all of our money, $3. But we wanted him to give us a tour of the Downtown homeless scene, and he obliged. He showed us all the places we could get free meals, free clothes, or just wanted to talk to someone. He also gave me some very serious insights to what it meant to be homeless. I had an impression that if I ever became homeless, I would just pull myself up by the boot straps and get a new job/place to live and work harder to get out of it. And I still think that is true, but as this man was explaining to me, most homeless have something wrong with them. It might be an addiction, or a mental illness. I had seen both already that night.
At this point I knew that I would never be able to sleep downtown. Between the drugs, crazies, and now we had to walk back to Cascade because we gave away our Max money; we decided to do it sooner than later. We were right across from Powell’s, and started our long walk back to Cascade. A Google map says that the trip is 5.4 miles long, and that seems a little short to me, mayhaps because Ryan was complaining the whole time. As we passed the Portland Rescue Mission, we noticed a young man, around our age, curled up on the sidewalk under a single blanket. We stopped and looked at the guy for a while, and decided that we could do nothing for him at this point. We were broke; we had no phone, no car to drive him somewhere safer, and no home to provide him.
Ryan needed motivation almost the whole walk back. At first I did this by threatening violence and urination if he slept. We passed karaoke bars, and a 7-11 where we go water. About halfway back he said he was going to give up, and he didn’t care what happened to him. He actually lay down on a sidewalk around Burnside and 35th. I had to switch motivators so I kept him awake with his favorite thing ever, arguing. We argued all the way back to Cascade.
It was a very surreal thing; I had been fasting for a class, and trying to read Romans in a single sitting. I was also sleep deprived, and physically exhausted. But as we walked into the parking lot from Burnside, the sun came up. It was warming to both my aching body and my mental state. I had stayed the entire night outside and I was cold. I also saw a lot of people in a bad situation. But here I was, walking to my dorm room, sheltered from the cold, and surrounded by friends and family that would never let me fall to that place. I had learned a lot from that trip, a little about compassion, a little about homelessness, a little about making sure to carry enough money so you can give some away, and still ride the Max back.
Friday, April 10, 2009
J Box!
I recently sent an e-mail to the Jack in the Box headquarters, addressing the fact that we did not have a J Box in Bend, and they sent an e-mail back inviting me to keep checking their website for further openings.
Well this morning I opened the newspaper and found they are replacing the Denny's with a J Box! Best trade ever.
Well this morning I opened the newspaper and found they are replacing the Denny's with a J Box! Best trade ever.
Monday, March 9, 2009
A new car!
Let me tell you how I ended up with this car.
On the 30th of January I bought a 1992 Toyota Camry for $1300. It was a great deal that someone made because of their financial situation. I was stoked because my truck had been running poorly, and this was a great deal.
Two days later I woke up to find that someone had hit the car and taken off. Luckily my across the street neighbor is a good person and called the woman who had hit my car, telling her to come back and deal with it or he would call the police. She came back and left a note, and he called the police anyway.
She wouldn't answer her phone so I called my insurance company to make a claim. To make a long story shorter she was a flaky person. Her dad started to try and bully me over the phone and their shop was run by a bastard who made me deal with her insurance company instead of them.
Their insurance company totalled my Camry, and sent me a check for $1600, and I sold the car to a friend for $400. Having made $700 on the deal I bought the above pictured 97 Mercury Tracer for $1500.
I then drove pictured car to Reno where I won 3 large jackpots. One for $1000, one for $150, and a third for $100. It has been a great month for team Rich.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Reno
So a lot has happened in the last two weeks, and I mostly kept it off of my blog to surprise my brother for his birthday.
I am still in Reno, but I wanted to post a picture for you mos before I get back.
It is kinda bad resolution, but the total down in the lower right says $1009. I had just hit a $1000 jackpot playing Keno.
I am still in Reno, but I wanted to post a picture for you mos before I get back.
It is kinda bad resolution, but the total down in the lower right says $1009. I had just hit a $1000 jackpot playing Keno.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tp is bad?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
So there is this really hot woman...
...that stays in my hotel like twice a month. She comes in and knows my name, and she really is hot. Like smokin' hot. And she likes to look at me and smile, which makes my insides feel funny.
She checked in yesterday and said "Hello Rich, we meet again." And I literally dropped my cup of water on the floor. It is ridiculous.
So here is the problem, my hotel has a policy of no fraternization with guests. Plus I'm a scared. Thats right A Scared. I can talk to hot women all day long till one flirts with me, then I drop stuff and turn to mush.
Pathetic.
She checked in yesterday and said "Hello Rich, we meet again." And I literally dropped my cup of water on the floor. It is ridiculous.
So here is the problem, my hotel has a policy of no fraternization with guests. Plus I'm a scared. Thats right A Scared. I can talk to hot women all day long till one flirts with me, then I drop stuff and turn to mush.
Pathetic.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Just posting something to post.
It's not that stuff isn't happening, but I just don't want to write about it. So here is a transcript of the wedding I performed. This is a long one.(snicker)
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Rich Jandt Adventure #17
Punched in the face.
So I had an exciting week at work. In addition to regular work, I was assaulted on two different nights, both ending in charges being filed and people in jail.
The first one happened on 01/16/09. A woman was going to see a movie but forgot her ID. Since it is a bar and the movie started at 10:30PM it is 21 and over. She became unglued to reality and struck another employee in the head with a metal water bottle. We got her in a pair of handcuffs, but she slipped out and hit me in the mouth with a forearm. I was able to put her against the wall and re-attached the cuffs, this time very tightly. When the Police let her out of the cuffs, she attacked them, and had to be re-taken down. She was arrested on assault IV, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.
The second time was on 1/21/09. We host free concerts every Wednesday and this week it was a very popular band. Well about 15 minutes into the concert we went over the room capacity and had to start a "one out one in rule". As soon as someone left I could let someone in. Well this one punk-ass asked if him and his crew mobbed me if they could get in sooner. I said that if I was mobbed they would get in, but he wouldn't. So he started going off on how he could take me, and my mom is this or that, and I let him know that I wouldn't let him in now because he was a jerk.
At this moment our outside security guard (who 4 days earlier had been hit in the head with a metal bottle) walked by and I asked for him to bounce the jerk. He obliged and 3 minutes later this punk kid comes running around the corner and Hail Mary punches me in the face. I had a fraction of a second to realize "I'm gettin punched in the face" and turned my head to the left, so I took the entire punch on the right cheek.
I saw stars and I do not remember the seconds that follow. The next thing I remember is tackling the jerk through the doorway of another bar. Being a large 300 pound man with the ability to run really fast when mad OR scared I hit him hard enough to take the door off it's hinges. Three other employees and I dragged him to the street and called the Police. During the wait this kid kept fighting as hard as he could and would not stay down. We tried arm bars, a leg bar, someone tried to get him into a figure 4, I grabbed his body and took him to the ground and just held him there. But at one point we had to pepper spray him, and my face was right next to his.
So I end up with a black eye, a lung full of pepper spray, a bent fingernail, and of course since I am not used to this much physical activity, a very sore body. He ended up with multiple contusions, a partially ripped out earring, a broken finger, and several assault/resisting charges. Now I need to figure out if I want to sue him or not.
So I had an exciting week at work. In addition to regular work, I was assaulted on two different nights, both ending in charges being filed and people in jail.
The first one happened on 01/16/09. A woman was going to see a movie but forgot her ID. Since it is a bar and the movie started at 10:30PM it is 21 and over. She became unglued to reality and struck another employee in the head with a metal water bottle. We got her in a pair of handcuffs, but she slipped out and hit me in the mouth with a forearm. I was able to put her against the wall and re-attached the cuffs, this time very tightly. When the Police let her out of the cuffs, she attacked them, and had to be re-taken down. She was arrested on assault IV, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.
The second time was on 1/21/09. We host free concerts every Wednesday and this week it was a very popular band. Well about 15 minutes into the concert we went over the room capacity and had to start a "one out one in rule". As soon as someone left I could let someone in. Well this one punk-ass asked if him and his crew mobbed me if they could get in sooner. I said that if I was mobbed they would get in, but he wouldn't. So he started going off on how he could take me, and my mom is this or that, and I let him know that I wouldn't let him in now because he was a jerk.
At this moment our outside security guard (who 4 days earlier had been hit in the head with a metal bottle) walked by and I asked for him to bounce the jerk. He obliged and 3 minutes later this punk kid comes running around the corner and Hail Mary punches me in the face. I had a fraction of a second to realize "I'm gettin punched in the face" and turned my head to the left, so I took the entire punch on the right cheek.
I saw stars and I do not remember the seconds that follow. The next thing I remember is tackling the jerk through the doorway of another bar. Being a large 300 pound man with the ability to run really fast when mad OR scared I hit him hard enough to take the door off it's hinges. Three other employees and I dragged him to the street and called the Police. During the wait this kid kept fighting as hard as he could and would not stay down. We tried arm bars, a leg bar, someone tried to get him into a figure 4, I grabbed his body and took him to the ground and just held him there. But at one point we had to pepper spray him, and my face was right next to his.
So I end up with a black eye, a lung full of pepper spray, a bent fingernail, and of course since I am not used to this much physical activity, a very sore body. He ended up with multiple contusions, a partially ripped out earring, a broken finger, and several assault/resisting charges. Now I need to figure out if I want to sue him or not.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Luke Skywalker called...
I think this is cool. A true cyborg. I want to get one with a knife attachment.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481092,00.html
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Rich Jandt Adventure #16
For this story we need to go back about a week, to the night I performed the marriage.
Joel and Barb had come out for a few celebratory drinks, and I happily drove them home. (They have been putting me up for the past few weeks till I get my truck fixed).
I used to drive like a devil, but in my old age have started to drive like a grandma, never speed, never go through yellow lights, come to complete stops all of it. Well for some reason I took a left on a red light, down a road I don't usually go down anyway. Joel was complaining about my horrific driving when I almost hit what I think is a coyote.
Since it was 3AM I pulled over and went to look at the dog. It was small, grey, and a bobbed tail. It also had a horrible limp. Joel was walking fastly toward the dog which made it walk fastly away. I tricked it by hiding my approach behind a bus stop and was able to pick it up. It was very calm and did not try to bite me. I noticed it was bleeding from a rear paw, and we decided to take it home until we found the owner.
Well at home I noticed just how many celebratory drinks Joel and Barb had had, so I decided to join them and drank a few glasses of red wine. By the time we got the dog in the house, and fed it and examined the paw and gave it water I was feeling fairly celebratory myself.
It was at this time I decided to post a lost and found on craigslist. This is what came out.
Found elderly nice tempered dogFound on 27th heading north early on the 3rd of January.
Don't know, maybe mixed Aussie shep terrier something. Brown with white and dark spots. Fawn motif, Bobbed tail. Short legs. Someone elses guess was a cattle dog, and a third guess is it is husky like. But it is not husky like at all. Really short. almost a corgy face. Cant post picture due to intoxication.
Super nice demeanor, we will be taking care of it until owner calls.
About an hour later I remembered to go back and repost it with my name and number.
Joel and Barb had come out for a few celebratory drinks, and I happily drove them home. (They have been putting me up for the past few weeks till I get my truck fixed).
I used to drive like a devil, but in my old age have started to drive like a grandma, never speed, never go through yellow lights, come to complete stops all of it. Well for some reason I took a left on a red light, down a road I don't usually go down anyway. Joel was complaining about my horrific driving when I almost hit what I think is a coyote.
Since it was 3AM I pulled over and went to look at the dog. It was small, grey, and a bobbed tail. It also had a horrible limp. Joel was walking fastly toward the dog which made it walk fastly away. I tricked it by hiding my approach behind a bus stop and was able to pick it up. It was very calm and did not try to bite me. I noticed it was bleeding from a rear paw, and we decided to take it home until we found the owner.
Well at home I noticed just how many celebratory drinks Joel and Barb had had, so I decided to join them and drank a few glasses of red wine. By the time we got the dog in the house, and fed it and examined the paw and gave it water I was feeling fairly celebratory myself.
It was at this time I decided to post a lost and found on craigslist. This is what came out.
Found elderly nice tempered dogFound on 27th heading north early on the 3rd of January.
Don't know, maybe mixed Aussie shep terrier something. Brown with white and dark spots. Fawn motif, Bobbed tail. Short legs. Someone elses guess was a cattle dog, and a third guess is it is husky like. But it is not husky like at all. Really short. almost a corgy face. Cant post picture due to intoxication.
Super nice demeanor, we will be taking care of it until owner calls.
About an hour later I remembered to go back and repost it with my name and number.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Rich Jandt Adventure #15
I was broke for most of my college experience. I sold plasma for extras like dating hot chicks and eating food not in the cafeteria.
I had asked a chick out that I really liked, and went to sell plasma in the afternoon for some cash. Selling plasma is a fairly easy way to make money. You sit in a chair and watch TV while a guy sticks you with a needle, and a machine draws out some blood, then separates the plasma out, then puts it back into your arm. Easy.
Well this time they forgot to attach the hose to the machine and after about 45 min. I looked over and saw about 3 pints of my blood on the front of the machine and in a huge pool on the floor. I freaked, the techs freaked, I got paid an extra $50 because they messed it up.
It would have been a great date if I had not had to stay an extra hour to fill out paper work, then ride the bus back to school. By the time I got back I was SO dizzy I could barely stand. I met the lady in the lower JC and she was pissed that I was late. She got over it when she found out that I sold my body just to go out with her, but I fell asleep like 5 times during the movie.
Honestly, I do not remember how the evening ended.
I had asked a chick out that I really liked, and went to sell plasma in the afternoon for some cash. Selling plasma is a fairly easy way to make money. You sit in a chair and watch TV while a guy sticks you with a needle, and a machine draws out some blood, then separates the plasma out, then puts it back into your arm. Easy.
Well this time they forgot to attach the hose to the machine and after about 45 min. I looked over and saw about 3 pints of my blood on the front of the machine and in a huge pool on the floor. I freaked, the techs freaked, I got paid an extra $50 because they messed it up.
It would have been a great date if I had not had to stay an extra hour to fill out paper work, then ride the bus back to school. By the time I got back I was SO dizzy I could barely stand. I met the lady in the lower JC and she was pissed that I was late. She got over it when she found out that I sold my body just to go out with her, but I fell asleep like 5 times during the movie.
Honestly, I do not remember how the evening ended.
Rich Jandt Adventure #14
Speaking of broken noses...
I was hired to be a key note speaker for a youth rally in Alaska. I made some good friends in a short amount of time and was asked to go for a walk by a couple of attractive young ladies. A friend of mine was dating one of the girls and I had been flirting with the other one for a week.
It was a very romantic setting. A dark night, around a frozen lake during a light snow. As happens when young people have trouble communicating, things turn physical and a snowball fight ensued. Unlike running, I am actually a fairly decent thrower. I made the perfect snowball to trow a long way, it was tightly packed, a little smaller than my palms, and completely round.
My intended target was around 100 feet away, and I wound up like I was a MLB pitcher and threw as hard as I could. My male friend popped up right at that moment three feet in front of me and caught said snowball right in the bridge of his nose. As stated before, I am not a medical professional, but he is. A medic in the armed forces to be exact.
First thing out of his mouth was "Why did you break my nose?". Pure and utter terror surrounded me and while I would usually run away, there was no where for me to go. The girls called me a jerk, and he was all pissed at me, and I couldn't explain myself.
Yeah, haven't talked to any of them ever again.
I was hired to be a key note speaker for a youth rally in Alaska. I made some good friends in a short amount of time and was asked to go for a walk by a couple of attractive young ladies. A friend of mine was dating one of the girls and I had been flirting with the other one for a week.
It was a very romantic setting. A dark night, around a frozen lake during a light snow. As happens when young people have trouble communicating, things turn physical and a snowball fight ensued. Unlike running, I am actually a fairly decent thrower. I made the perfect snowball to trow a long way, it was tightly packed, a little smaller than my palms, and completely round.
My intended target was around 100 feet away, and I wound up like I was a MLB pitcher and threw as hard as I could. My male friend popped up right at that moment three feet in front of me and caught said snowball right in the bridge of his nose. As stated before, I am not a medical professional, but he is. A medic in the armed forces to be exact.
First thing out of his mouth was "Why did you break my nose?". Pure and utter terror surrounded me and while I would usually run away, there was no where for me to go. The girls called me a jerk, and he was all pissed at me, and I couldn't explain myself.
Yeah, haven't talked to any of them ever again.
Rich Jandt Adventure #13
I wasn't always single, and at one time had a very active dating life. These next few posts will highlight some of my more humorous dates. To protect the innocent, I will not use names of the women I offended/injured on the encounters.
I don't know if you have ever been asked to do something you hate, but do it because you want to eventually kiss a hot chick.
There was this vary attractive red head. She was athletic, and hot and I was nervous to even speak to her. One day she walked through the men's lobby to ask me if I wanted to go on a run with her. We only ran one lap around the campus, from the lobby to Stark, up to 91st, back to Burnside and ending at her dorms. At the end of the run I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie sometime, and she said yes and walked up the steps.
I walked around the corner and fell to the ground gasping for breath. Completely seeing red spots and out of breath, full blown asthma attack. I was out of breath by the time we hit Stark, I only kept it up to ask her out at the end. Best/worst part was she walked around the corner while I was laying in the dirt to ask me when we would go out.
A week later we went out to watch "I know what you did last summer". I hate scary movies, I am a very big wuss. While she would cover her face with her hands during scary parts, I was pretending to be macho and would just flex and do my best not to jump. At the very end of the movie I inadvertently jumped and threw an elbow to her hands, covering her nose. I am not a medical professional, but I believe her nose was broken. A large amount of blood was pouring from her face.
Awesome. No second date here.
I don't know if you have ever been asked to do something you hate, but do it because you want to eventually kiss a hot chick.
There was this vary attractive red head. She was athletic, and hot and I was nervous to even speak to her. One day she walked through the men's lobby to ask me if I wanted to go on a run with her. We only ran one lap around the campus, from the lobby to Stark, up to 91st, back to Burnside and ending at her dorms. At the end of the run I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie sometime, and she said yes and walked up the steps.
I walked around the corner and fell to the ground gasping for breath. Completely seeing red spots and out of breath, full blown asthma attack. I was out of breath by the time we hit Stark, I only kept it up to ask her out at the end. Best/worst part was she walked around the corner while I was laying in the dirt to ask me when we would go out.
A week later we went out to watch "I know what you did last summer". I hate scary movies, I am a very big wuss. While she would cover her face with her hands during scary parts, I was pretending to be macho and would just flex and do my best not to jump. At the very end of the movie I inadvertently jumped and threw an elbow to her hands, covering her nose. I am not a medical professional, but I believe her nose was broken. A large amount of blood was pouring from her face.
Awesome. No second date here.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Congrats.
This morning I performed my first marriage.
My really good friends Joel and Barb asked me to do the honors of joining them as husband and wife.
It was actually really easy. The only real work was signing a form for the county.
Well that and the 5 years of college.
My really good friends Joel and Barb asked me to do the honors of joining them as husband and wife.
It was actually really easy. The only real work was signing a form for the county.
Well that and the 5 years of college.
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