...that stays in my hotel like twice a month. She comes in and knows my name, and she really is hot. Like smokin' hot. And she likes to look at me and smile, which makes my insides feel funny.
She checked in yesterday and said "Hello Rich, we meet again." And I literally dropped my cup of water on the floor. It is ridiculous.
So here is the problem, my hotel has a policy of no fraternization with guests. Plus I'm a scared. Thats right A Scared. I can talk to hot women all day long till one flirts with me, then I drop stuff and turn to mush.
Pathetic.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Just posting something to post.
It's not that stuff isn't happening, but I just don't want to write about it. So here is a transcript of the wedding I performed. This is a long one.(snicker)
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Rich Jandt Adventure #17
Punched in the face.
So I had an exciting week at work. In addition to regular work, I was assaulted on two different nights, both ending in charges being filed and people in jail.
The first one happened on 01/16/09. A woman was going to see a movie but forgot her ID. Since it is a bar and the movie started at 10:30PM it is 21 and over. She became unglued to reality and struck another employee in the head with a metal water bottle. We got her in a pair of handcuffs, but she slipped out and hit me in the mouth with a forearm. I was able to put her against the wall and re-attached the cuffs, this time very tightly. When the Police let her out of the cuffs, she attacked them, and had to be re-taken down. She was arrested on assault IV, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.
The second time was on 1/21/09. We host free concerts every Wednesday and this week it was a very popular band. Well about 15 minutes into the concert we went over the room capacity and had to start a "one out one in rule". As soon as someone left I could let someone in. Well this one punk-ass asked if him and his crew mobbed me if they could get in sooner. I said that if I was mobbed they would get in, but he wouldn't. So he started going off on how he could take me, and my mom is this or that, and I let him know that I wouldn't let him in now because he was a jerk.
At this moment our outside security guard (who 4 days earlier had been hit in the head with a metal bottle) walked by and I asked for him to bounce the jerk. He obliged and 3 minutes later this punk kid comes running around the corner and Hail Mary punches me in the face. I had a fraction of a second to realize "I'm gettin punched in the face" and turned my head to the left, so I took the entire punch on the right cheek.
I saw stars and I do not remember the seconds that follow. The next thing I remember is tackling the jerk through the doorway of another bar. Being a large 300 pound man with the ability to run really fast when mad OR scared I hit him hard enough to take the door off it's hinges. Three other employees and I dragged him to the street and called the Police. During the wait this kid kept fighting as hard as he could and would not stay down. We tried arm bars, a leg bar, someone tried to get him into a figure 4, I grabbed his body and took him to the ground and just held him there. But at one point we had to pepper spray him, and my face was right next to his.
So I end up with a black eye, a lung full of pepper spray, a bent fingernail, and of course since I am not used to this much physical activity, a very sore body. He ended up with multiple contusions, a partially ripped out earring, a broken finger, and several assault/resisting charges. Now I need to figure out if I want to sue him or not.
So I had an exciting week at work. In addition to regular work, I was assaulted on two different nights, both ending in charges being filed and people in jail.
The first one happened on 01/16/09. A woman was going to see a movie but forgot her ID. Since it is a bar and the movie started at 10:30PM it is 21 and over. She became unglued to reality and struck another employee in the head with a metal water bottle. We got her in a pair of handcuffs, but she slipped out and hit me in the mouth with a forearm. I was able to put her against the wall and re-attached the cuffs, this time very tightly. When the Police let her out of the cuffs, she attacked them, and had to be re-taken down. She was arrested on assault IV, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.
The second time was on 1/21/09. We host free concerts every Wednesday and this week it was a very popular band. Well about 15 minutes into the concert we went over the room capacity and had to start a "one out one in rule". As soon as someone left I could let someone in. Well this one punk-ass asked if him and his crew mobbed me if they could get in sooner. I said that if I was mobbed they would get in, but he wouldn't. So he started going off on how he could take me, and my mom is this or that, and I let him know that I wouldn't let him in now because he was a jerk.
At this moment our outside security guard (who 4 days earlier had been hit in the head with a metal bottle) walked by and I asked for him to bounce the jerk. He obliged and 3 minutes later this punk kid comes running around the corner and Hail Mary punches me in the face. I had a fraction of a second to realize "I'm gettin punched in the face" and turned my head to the left, so I took the entire punch on the right cheek.
I saw stars and I do not remember the seconds that follow. The next thing I remember is tackling the jerk through the doorway of another bar. Being a large 300 pound man with the ability to run really fast when mad OR scared I hit him hard enough to take the door off it's hinges. Three other employees and I dragged him to the street and called the Police. During the wait this kid kept fighting as hard as he could and would not stay down. We tried arm bars, a leg bar, someone tried to get him into a figure 4, I grabbed his body and took him to the ground and just held him there. But at one point we had to pepper spray him, and my face was right next to his.
So I end up with a black eye, a lung full of pepper spray, a bent fingernail, and of course since I am not used to this much physical activity, a very sore body. He ended up with multiple contusions, a partially ripped out earring, a broken finger, and several assault/resisting charges. Now I need to figure out if I want to sue him or not.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Luke Skywalker called...
I think this is cool. A true cyborg. I want to get one with a knife attachment.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481092,00.html
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
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