Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Rich Jandt Adventure #12

Pizza Time had an awesome campus special that was $5 for a large one topping pizza.

Landreth 303 was filled with awesome guys, who used pizza tops as a medium for ark work. There was all kinds of artistic expression on boxes. A drawing of the Chaco-mountains. A drawing of a Lotus flower. Thins like that.

One afternoon I ate a pizza and decided to write the "f" word on it. I waited in the room all day waiting for someone to notice it. The look of shock on their face was well worth the wait.

Rich Jandt Adventure #11

Eric Jones.

Eric was a bad person. He did bad things and made people very upset. He had some come-upins to collect.

It all started with a gallon of milk that was half finished. It then was placed in a heating duct until the gases from the milk decomposing expanded the jug to almost double its' original size.

If you are unfamiliar with a prank called a "Flash Flood" it is when you prop a container of a liquid against a door that opens in, and then wait for the person on the inside to open the door, flooding the room with that liquid.

Well we flash flooded Erics' room with the vile decomp milk. The entire floor of the dorm smelled like dead bodies, I can't imagine what his room smelled like.

Rich Jandt Adventure #10

What Wooden Mallet.

We rented a huge tent from the Oregon National Guard. When they were seting it up they were using a huge wooden mallet. About 4 feet tall, and a huge round wooden head at the top.

When they were done setting it up, a soldier turned to me and said, "We are leaving this here. It had better be here when we get back." I really had no intention of stealing it, but a friend of mine did.

Later that night I walked into Landreth 303 and there it was. We quickly decided to call it the "What Wooden Mallet" because if anyone asked us where it was, we could say "What Wooden Mallet?" Kinda weak way out of lying, but it worked.

The What Wooden Mallet was not that usefull, but it was awesome none the less. It's ultimate purpose was smashing in a door. Even though I was not involved in this prank, I was blamed. Luckally I have good friends and was cleared in this case.

Rich Jandt Adventure #9

Josh and D.R.

Josh was a very large slow moving target. Totally mean, and a huge bully. He wanted more than anyhting else in life to be a cop. He will never be one.

D.R. not Dr. Stood for Doris Ramku. A student from Albania. At first he was only a target because he roomed with Josh. By the end of this prank he made him self one on his own.

Josh and D.R. went on a vacation together once. Myself and not a few other students were tired of Josh's bull crap and decided to trash their room. We were only going to T.P. the room, but once we gained entry we were shocked to see pictures of Hitler, Mussolini, and other evil dictators. Para-military stuff was all over the place and it made us go over the edge.

Sure we T.P.ed the crap out of the room, then we erased a white board that clearly said "do not erase" on it. I put a banana in a combat boot, we put all of thier bedding in a washer full of dirty water. A friend of mine poured half of a bottle of mouth-wash out and refilled it with his urine.

Since I have trouble not telling the truth I immediately admitted my part in it, and gathered a few of the co-conspirators to help me clean the room. The entire time we were cleaning the room, Josh was quoting the ORS at us, and D.R. was looking very much the part of a little Hitler fan that he was.

Rich Jandt Adventure #8

I have decided that since Cascade is closing, I should re-tell some of my excellent adventures of the Cade.

For most of my time at Cascade I had a set of Master keys. I found the women's athletic directors set. I went to Fred Myers and bought a key cover to cover the "do not duplicate" on them, and then had them make me a copy. Then I returned the director's set. Easy.

They would change the locks every year, but keep the same master keys.

First I will tell you what I did not do. I never stole anything, other than some snacks. I never broke or destroyed anything. I also never gave my keys to anyone who did. I did some pranks, and I used the Computer Lab after hours during my Everquest addiction stage. Also I used my keys to hang out in the Music House sometimes.

The first time I broke into the Cafeteria, I did not have my keys yet. A friend of mine climbed the two pipes that ran up the wall to the roof of the building and went into the roof hatch, went down to where the service elevator was and then let us in. The bulk of the prank was we took down the chairs and set up like 50 place settings for breakfast. Then I decided to go one step further and wrote Lambda Chi Omega on a lot of stuff with ketchup. Mostly I did this to throw the blame away from me, the obvious choice to blame. It totally worked.

Soap the fountain. On two occasions, I added soap to the fountain. The first time was on an April's Fools Day. If you are going to soap a fountain, you should use bubble bath, not laundry soap. Bubble bath bubbles will build up in a giant wall of bubbles, while laundry soak only makes a few bubbles and is much better at cleaning things, which tends to get you in more trouble.

After a late night trip to Winco foods where I bought the bubble bath, I returned to campus and used my keys to get to the switch to turn on the fountain. After adding the soap I then pulled some other pranks like penny locking some people in their rooms. I also acquired a roll of 40 pound test line and tied an entire floors' doors together. I also set up a trip wire field between the fountain and the fountain shut off valves.

At about 5:30 in the morning I heard the dorm supervisor open the doors and cuss really loud. He rushed over to shut off the fountain that by this time had created an 8 foot wall of suds. Not seeing the wire he totally bit it in the courtyard. Consequences for this one were pretty bad, I lost my job as RA, was docked one months pay, and also lost my rooming deposit.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Cascade College.

Good ol' Cascade.

Even though you are leaving I will always remember you. Or I will until I am done paying the debt I owe from attending you.

You pissed me off sometimes. But you also introduced me to my best friends.

I think you gave me IBS. I could tell which bathroom I was in because of the color of the water. The food was only good when I was cooking. The best three and a half years of my life.

You did not prepare me for real-life situations like hermaphrodites, or paying taxes. You did teach me to tell the truth, and how to be a man.

The rules you tried to enforce on me were rediculous. Most of my best adventures were a result of them. I heart soap!

I would say I wish I had gone to ACU, but thats in freaking Texas.

politics.

So after that last post (which to date has garnered the most responses), I have gotten a few calls and a lot of e-mails questioning my politics. I will try to make it short and simple and I’m sure I will fail at that.

I am not going to vote. It is not because I’m a convicted felon, or an illegal alien. I joke and say it’s because I’m too lazy, but really it is because there are no candidates whom I would want in office. I refuse to buy the lesser evil argument because it is stupid.

I would like to prioritize my issues for you. All you have to do is go down and see where I stand on things.

1.I am a huge supporter of human rights. Do you support human rights? Most do not. What group do you think needs more representation? Gays, blacks, women, immigrants or white males? Whichever group you choose I want you to think about maybe not killing them before they are born. I hate abortion. I think there should be exceptions for rape victims, incest cases, and where giving birth would cause severe health complications for the mother. Other than that, don’t murder people because you are too lazy to use birth-control.

I am not some right wing nut-job that thinks people do not have sex, or shouldn’t have sex. Everyone has sex. (Except me). No judgments, no looking down on people who like to have what I am told is the best thing ever. Use one of these methods to prevent killing someone because you are too stupid or too ashamed to admit you had sex. (Remember everyone has it). Here is a list. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraception_which.htm

I have more to say about this, but I said I would be brief. Abortion a tough decision for rape, incest, danger to moms. Not a means for birth-control.

2. Our other rights. All 27 of them. (Except the 18th which was repealed, so only the 26 of them)

Free speech, religion, assembly, guns, due process, trial by jury, vote or not, and all the rest. These were not given to us by the bill of rights or the other amendments of the constitution. These are things that all people on the planet should expect. Any Politian who runs on a campaign of limiting the rights of people will not be supported by me. Ever. If some Politian makes it past the first thing I care about, they usually get hung up in the second.

One thing that seems to be guaranteed by the bill of rights is use of drugs. I am not some left wing nut-job that thinks that everyone uses drugs. (But just about everyone does) If you are starting to get a holier than though feeling about not using drugs, remember that headache that went away with aspirin? That cup of joe you had this morning? That night cap you like to have with that special someone? All drugs. All legal for some reason, but still drugs. I’m not saying legalize weed, I’m saying legalize everything.

Prostitution and drugs for everyone, not just the polititans.

3. Money. I earned it, let me keep it. Stop wasting it on stupid shit. A lot of Politians say they want me to keep my money, but they are liars. Democrats or Republicans will equally waste my money. Why should I pay for a bridge in Oklahoma, a state I will never go to intentionally? I shouldn’t that’s why.

That might actually be all I care about. To recap, you should do whatever makes you happy, unless it harms another human being, and don’t touch whats mine.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Suddenly I'm interested

So I hear a story from Tim that maybe Obama isn't an American citizen. The story is not being run on the mainstream media outlets, which is weird considering the implications.

There have been numerous questions raised about Obama’s background with no satisfactory answers. The questions that have been addressed include:

1. Where was Obama born? Hawaii; an island off of Hawaii; Kenya; Canada; or ?

2. Was he a citizen of Kenya, Indonesia and/or Canada?

3. What was the early childhood of Obama in Hawaii; in Kenya; in Indonesia when he was adopted; and later, back to Hawaii?

4. An explanation as to the various names utilized by Obama that include: Barack Hussein Obama; Barry Soetoro; Barry Obama; Barack Dunham; and Barry Dunham.

5. Illinois Bar Application – Obama fails to acknowledge use of names other than Barack Hussein Obama, a blatant lie.

If Obama can prove U.S. citizenship, we still have the issue of muti-citizenship with responsibilities owed to and allegiance to other countries. There are like 2 things that you have to be to be president, 35 and a natural born citizen. Can we even have this man running for office if he is not one of them?

It's not even that this is a huge issue, but has he been blantently decieving everyone about this issue? I don't think that we need a third liar in office in a row.

You can find the entire story at http://www.clevelandleader.com/node/6524

The obligitory I turned 30 post.

As many of you know, I turned 30 on Wednesday. I want to thank all of my friends who made the arduous journey all the way out to Forest Grove.

I feel that at this point in my life I am the most secure I have ever been. I have worked for the same large corporation for just about 5 years, I make a livable wage, have health benefits, own my home, and all of my cars are paid off. I have a lot of friends, and get along with my family.

I am larger and more single than I expected, but when compared to the good points, I am fairly content with my life.

I know, usually saying things like this brings on some kind of trials and or tribulation, but I think I can handle it.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Call me.

OK folks, this is the last blog reminding you of my upcoming birthday.

I will be rolling over to the wet side of the mountains early afternoon tomorrow.

Give me a call at 503-490-0476 if your coming out, or give me a call if you want me to come over and visit. I just got a new phone and don't have any of your numbers. You could e-mail me your numbers if you want.

Also if your a hot chick reading this and want to call me you can.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Drivers Licence

I went in today to renew my driver's licence. I left about a half hour later angry and without a licence.

Turns out that if you are renewing your licence, you must have an original birth certificate, and social security card. I had brought an origial social card, and certified copies of my passport, adoption papers, and tax records.

I guess that those four things plus my valid drivers licence was not enough to prove my citezenship. Thats really stupid.

Not making a huge deal of it, but the guy working the counter had horrible english.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Dirty Thirty




Ok folks, just a reminder about the upcoming holiday.

Everyone who reads this is invited to my birthday at the Grand Lodge, in Forest Grove Oregon, from Oct. 19 through the 22nd. Also if you come out, remember to bring swimming gear because there is a Japanese style soaking pool there, and it's awesome.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Oktoberfest!

Ok, so I got some pictures here that you may enjoy.


Me and Daniel were supposed to be making mean faces. But Daniel dosn't have a mean face, so this is what we got.


Me holding some wienerdog puppies. Yeah, they are cute, but they had that gross new dog smell.


Funnest thing about wienerdog races are the judges. They took it very sereously.


And here it is, the main event.

The handlebar mustache was a shaving mistake, and has been properly grown back in.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It's snowin Y'all!

Even though I hate it, I'm excited.

Go snow.

Introducing A-Clark!

Alex is both one of my oldest, and best friends.

He is an extremely loyal and considerate man, while also being remarkably handsome and good with both a sword and dagger.

You can check in on his website at

http://lixingsun.livejournal.com/

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The great buyout

After checking some figures, and doing some looooong division, each US citizen who paid taxes 2007 contributed $7008.

How does that make you feel?

I sure could use seven grand.

Friday, October 3, 2008

ATTN: Single ladies!

I am sworn to secrecy, but a female friend of mine asked me recently to help her choose between two different presents for her boyfriend.

The 2 choices? A new TV or a new rifle.

So I guess I'm taking apps for a new girlfriend position. Don't forget my birthday is on the 22nd, but my party is from the 19th till the 22nd.