According to this story, Toilet paper is worse for the environment than Hummers.
Don't know how I feel about that.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,502444,00.html
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
So there is this really hot woman...
...that stays in my hotel like twice a month. She comes in and knows my name, and she really is hot. Like smokin' hot. And she likes to look at me and smile, which makes my insides feel funny.
She checked in yesterday and said "Hello Rich, we meet again." And I literally dropped my cup of water on the floor. It is ridiculous.
So here is the problem, my hotel has a policy of no fraternization with guests. Plus I'm a scared. Thats right A Scared. I can talk to hot women all day long till one flirts with me, then I drop stuff and turn to mush.
Pathetic.
She checked in yesterday and said "Hello Rich, we meet again." And I literally dropped my cup of water on the floor. It is ridiculous.
So here is the problem, my hotel has a policy of no fraternization with guests. Plus I'm a scared. Thats right A Scared. I can talk to hot women all day long till one flirts with me, then I drop stuff and turn to mush.
Pathetic.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Just posting something to post.
It's not that stuff isn't happening, but I just don't want to write about it. So here is a transcript of the wedding I performed. This is a long one.(snicker)
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
I don't know how you guys prep for sermons and stuff, but I like to write out everything. Then I practice it hundreds of times until I memorize it word for word. Or I get nervous and ramble. Both ways turn out for me.
My friends are atheists, and asked me for a non-God wedding. It was a little of a stretch, and I plagiarized most of this off the Internet anyway.
Marriage. It's a hard term to define, especially for me; I've avoided it like I avoid the plague. Yet along with birth and death marriage is a universal concept. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Native American, Quaker, Greeks, and Romans whatever. The only thing that they all have in common is birth marriage and death. It's like a cultural highway; it links our culture to the past and guides us to the future.
Marriage is the union of opposite elements: male and female, yin and yang, proton and electron, star wars and star trek. What am I talking about here? The very thing that unites the univerce. Like the grand unification theory. I have said that if I could be one superhero it would be the Green Lantern, because anyone can destroy things, but it is almost impossible to create. In marriage we are looking at creation itself. Two separate and opposite entities coming together and making something new.
Mass. Supreme Court states that:
marriage is a "social institution of the highest importance." Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.
I would like to quote a couple of people here, the first is Homer the poet, not the simpson.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
And Nietzsche said
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Love is almost always associated with marriage, and I also have a hard time defining such a complicated concept. Is it an action or a verb? Is it like how I feel about candy or beer? One of the better explanations of love I have heard comes from Margery Williams in her book the velveteen rabbit.
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Insert vows here.
So we are here witnessing a marriage between two people who love each other. This is more than an event that happened on January 18th 2009; it is a culmination of 5 or so years of relationship, and a bridge to the future of their lives. The highway to the personal past and to the personal future, of Joel and Barb. We are here because we also love Joel and Barb, and we wish them the best. We want them to be happy, and content.
So without further rambling, and if everyone is cool with that, I now pronounce them as husband and wife.
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