I’m sure you have heard of the huge raid on the FLDS compound. I’m amazed at the entire situation. 400 plus children, none really know who their father or mothers are, rampant child production facilities.
All this talk about me and my chaste life style has given me something to think about.
Why don’t I join a polygamist society? I think that it is a great opportunity for me, but here are the changes I would make so there will not be the disaster that happened in Texas.
1.No marriage to children. Common, it’s just wrong people!
2.Marry women of different professions. An accountant, a physician, a lawyer, a mechanic or otherwise handy woman. It is always good to have a service professional in the family, why not have them under the same roof?
3.Don’t have so many children. After the first few they really become liabilities. (I hear).
4.Instead of me working really hard to support many wives, they can work a normal work load and support me. I am an excellent cook, and am well versed in the art of homemaking. Plus I’d have time to practice Star Craft II.
5.With 5 or maybe 6 incomes coming into the home, I think that the household will be a very positive place to raise children. They would never have to worry about food, clothing, and a nice stable environment to learn. Plus with their college tuitions being split by 6 parents, money will be less of a factor determining which college to go to.
6.Have you seen pictures of those poly wives? It’s like straight out of the 1850s. Maybe marry a beautician also.
So I don’t know, maybe you can help me get the word out. I need to start my harem… I mean God sanctioned polygamist society, but I know very few women willing to join me in this. (Actually zero.)
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3 comments:
If you think call Clinton B.J. is funny, you should hear the one I got for Hillary. Mark Levin is a genius.
Yeah, dude, I'm not sure it would be worth it if all the hoes looked like freakin' Laura Ingles Wilder! I think one hot chick is better than a bunch of fuglies.
Just to help you think all the way through things - when women spend a lot of time together they tend to sync up on their feminine-cycle timing. That's probably why FLDS dudes keep their women pregnant as much as possible. Could you imagine the horror of 6 PMSing broads all at the same time?
Mike, don't tease me with humerous plays on people's names, hook it up.
And to counter the combined PMS crisis, I would be taking one week off a month to "stockpile spiritual reserves".
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